“This is SO hardcore!” Avril screams as she jams to her latest single, “Here’s to Never Growing Up.”

“PIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE’ Avril screams at the sky as she skateboards through the suburbs, “POCKY-RAWWWWRRRR”

Avril hasn’t been the same since she was kidnapped and locked in a Hollister overnight

Avril, can you please stop writing “Dicktation” on our coffee table in black sharpie?? You father and I payed a lot for that. -Mom

i can’t go on

“MY POKEMAN BRINGS ALL THE NERDS TO THE YARD, AND THEIR LIKE; YOU WANNA TRADE CARDS? DAMN RIGHT I WANNA TRADE CARDS. GIMMIE PIKACHU WITH ELECTRIC CHARGE” Avril sings into her black hairbrush, as she jumps off her bunkbed, she lands on her butt, “AUUUGH GRAVITY!” she yells, smacking the floor and crying, “THAT WAS SO NOT PUNK!”

‘Raaawwwwr’ Avril squeals as she gazes into her husband’s eyes, putting a ring pop on his finger, surrounded by family and friends at their wedding, ‘That means I love you… in dinosaur. This is the randomest wedding evah’

‘Fudge those preps’ Avril whispers to herself, putting her knees in her hoodie from Hot Topic as she sits in the corner of the gym, watching the rest of her class do laps, ‘I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.’

“those preps at my highschool won’t even be able to handle how OG I am now,” Avril laughs to herself as she hugs her Creeper plushie and boots up Minecraft like the gamer girl she is, telling herself she thinks its hardcore awesome and so totally not boring. 

• Rolling Stone: Did you know Frank Ocean was gay before he came out last year?
• Tyler, the Creator: Yeah, I was one of the first people he told. I kinda knew, because he likes Pop Tarts without frosting on them, so I knew something was weird. But that’s my nigga.